Jillian Wilson is the Wellness Reporter at HuffPost. She started her career at Visit Philadelphia, where she wrote about things to do and see in the Philadelphia region. Since then, she has covered lifestyle beats like wellness, fitness, health, tourism and food, all with a strong service journalism angle. She is a graduate of Temple University.
Some children have parents who may provide for their kids physically but don’t quite understand how to support their child emotionally or mentally. These types of parents are known in the therapy world as emotionally immature parents.“An emotionally immature parent is a parent who is unable to meet your emotional needs, either as a kid or an adult child,” saidIn other words, everything is about them, their emotional needs and what’s going on in their day, Sagaram explained.
Below, experts share the signs of an emotionally immature parent and how to cope if you have one .Emotionally immature parents don’t handle their emotions well. In fact, according to Sagaram, emotionally immature parents are known to vent to children about their adult problems.This could be anything from issues at work to problems in their marriage to financial difficulties.
Children can’t properly give their parents the support they need , so this leads to another problem.“Another characteristic is that they get mad at you for not being there for them in the way that they want,” added Sagaram. “So, oftentimes, emotionally immature parents expect you to know what it is that they want and need ... if you’re not able to do that, or you’re not able to support them in the way that they want to be supported, they get emotionally explosive with you.
This can also lead to inconsistent behavior, she noted. For example, if your mom usually helped you with your math homework but had a rough day at work, she may explode when you ask for your regularly scheduled help. You should also give yourself credit for simply being able to notice this: It isn’t easy to admit that your parents have faults.“I think it’s hard because sometimes people have a hard time admitting that maybe their parents didn’t do what they needed when they were a child,” said Chaiken.
When it comes to your parents, Chaiken noted that it’s important to set clear and healthy boundaries around what you will and won’t accept from them.Emotional immaturity is a learned behavior that is likely something that’s been in your bloodline for generations. A therapist can help you learn to self-soothe, create an emotionally supportive community so you don’t feel like you have to rely on your child and heal the wounds that likely will emerge from your own childhood.At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
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