Ten truths about working for the NHS this Christmas, by Adam Kay...
Former doctor, and author of This Is Going To Hurt, Adam Kay reveals ten truths about working for the NHS over Christmas.People get horny in the weirdest way. Blame the eggnog or just high Christmas spirits, but sex always gets freakier at this time of year. One patient got some nasty grazes after using sweet wrappers as an emergency contraceptive – after all, everyone knows a Twix fits – and another gave herself what I called ‘vaginaphylactic shock’ by using peanut butter as lube.
It’s not uncommon for elderly relatives to be ditched at the hospital’s front door so the rest of the family can enjoy their buck’s fizz and pigs-in-blankets unburdened – it’s known as ‘granny dumping’ and is truly horrifying every time.never disappoint. One Christmas, I delivered a Holly and a Caspar and you still get the odd Robin, Grace or Gabriel. Carols and Glorias have fallen out of favour though. As one veteran midwife put it: ‘Noel used to be very popular. But Edmonds fucked that.
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