Brittany Wong is a senior reporter covering lifestyle topics at HuffPost. She is a graduate of UCLA and a native Angeleno. She can be reached at brittany.wong@huffpost.com
"Hermeneutic labor” is the emotional work that goes into trying to decipher men’s often muddy communication.
“It’s a euphemism for hermeneutic labor,” she said. “We tend to deny the substantial amounts of work that women do to maintain relationships, as well as the fact that a lot of this work is cognitive in character.”Interpreting the other person’s feelings, desires and intentions through their nonverbal cues or minimal communication
Anderson also likens the concept to something explored by feminist and critical theorist Mari Ruti’s book “Penis Envy.” “If he is texting, she is texting ― even if she might desire to talk by phone ― while talking with her friends about what the frequency or tone of his texts might mean about his true intentions,” Boateng said.
“All this work can make the relationship stronger because it helps with communication, but it’s important to remember that this effort by women should be appreciated and not just expected,” Chappell Marsh said.in Washington, D.C., said she’s seen hermeneutic labor play out with her clients, but not to a problematic level.“As a therapist, I’m usually shutting down a long, drawn-out analysis by immediately emphasizing a need for clarity,” she said.
For instance, if you’re only receiving texts in the morning and that’s causing communication problems, Boateng said to say something like, “It seems like mornings are the best time for you to connect, right? Is there a way for you to briefly respond to my more timely texts at night?”Clear communication doesn’t come naturally for any of us ― it’s something that needs to be honed and worked on, and there’s always room for improvement, Chappell Marsh said.
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