As a British-Iranian journalist, I will never feel safe visiting my family

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As a British-Iranian journalist, I will never feel safe visiting my family
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'In order to be a journalist, I had to sacrifice an element of my life that even now, 15 years later, remains at the centre of my universe: my family.'

We have all seen what happens to innocent people like Nazanin and how much might it take to get them home

I knew in my heart of hearts, I’d never see this beautiful city, or the family I loved so much, again. I’d soon be starting my dream job as a journalist and while that would bring me so much happiness, it was a double-edged sword. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never written about or criticised the politics of Iran, despite my absolute loathing of it. It only matters that I am a gatherer of news and truth, and my very existence is viewed as a threat to the propaganda machine that is the Iranian Government.

After six months on death row, he was dragged into a prison courtyard in the middle of the night and shot in the forehead. His body was dumped in a mass grave my family is still not allowed to mark as the place of his rest. The land has since been contracted out as a commercial landfill site and remains guarded by security 24/7.

Though I was born in the UK and grew up here, my heart and soul have always been laced with the beauty, noise and chaos of Iran. I once flew there multiple times a year, staying with my grandparents, and enjoying the love, laughter, and rich culture of my cousins, aunts and uncles. I’ve watched the people I love get married or be buried through a screen. I’ve ‘met’ all the new babies in my family through pictures and Instagram stories. All of it feels unbearable and unnatural – as if a hole in my chest.To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser thatBut for me, there’s no other option.

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