Advice from Amy Dickinson.
I have been going to the same car mechanic since I moved to a new city, four years ago.The last time I brought my car in, he offered to take it for a spin with me in the car, but I declined.
Recently I learned from a mutual friend that we both were excluded from two major celebrations hosted by her family.Shelley recently saw me at a different social event, ran up to me and said: “Can you forgive me?” without naming the offense I was to forgive her for.She didn’t acknowledge my comment, except to say that she’s had a lot on her mind. Then she sort of drifted off.Ever since then she’s attempted to interact with me at social events, but I’ve been keeping my distance.
Decoding this universal transference, I’ll explain it this way: When adults fall in love , we feel like a high-schooler.“Shelley” chose a crowded social event to pounce upon you and ask if you could forgive her. This is a genius middle-school move because it prevents you from reacting in front of a crowd.Isn’t an apology supposed to precede a bid for forgiveness?
Once you’ve owned your completely legitimate feelings and used your words to describe your perspective, it will be much easier to let go and move on.I have enjoyed your commonsense approach and candor. Congratulations on your new life adventure.
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