Advice from Amy Dickinson.
: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, “I thought you might like to go to church with me.” Meaning: “I want you to take me to church before brunch.”My mother essentially would not take no for an answer.I feel manipulated.
Do you have any advice? Should I cave in and take her to church? If I’m being hard-hearted, please tell me.Your mother pushes your buttons because of her history of being manipulative, at least when it comes to you. After church, you should do your best to speak with your mother very honestly about what happened on her birthday. Use “I statements” and be polite, frank and authentic regarding how this made you feel.Several years ago, she got into financial trouble with a credit card debt of around $6,000. She told me about it and I bailed her out.
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