An update for a letter writer who was disappointed their friend didn’t show up for them.
As I have announced previously, I am leaving this space. My last column will run at the end of June. In the meantime, I’m publishing some favorite columns and updates on previously published advice. The original Q&A is below, with the update following.During the height of the pandemic last year, each of my parents died suddenly, two months apart. As a result, I was left with two difficult estates to wade through on my own.
My childhood girlfriend has only seen me once in seven-and-a-half months, even though she is well aware that I have no help from siblings or immediate family. I feel very hurt that she believes that “praying for me” is enough. In my time of need, shouldn’t she be expected to do something practical?This is such a tough situation, and I’m so sorry you are experiencing it. Yes, good friends should have a reasonable expectation of assistance when times are tough.
I have come to understand that unless people have personally faced this sort of challenge themselves, they don’t have any idea of how physically exhausting and upsetting it is to clear out parents’ homes. Years ago, after dealing with this myself, I ran into an old friend from high school; her truck was piled high with her late-father’s belongings. We both stood in a snowy parking lot and traded teary stories about how hard this aspect of loss had been.
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