Dear Anna: The woman I am with is also in a relationship with a straight man, whom I personally find unsuitable.
I’m a bisexual woman currently in my first significant relationship with another bisexual woman. Throughout my life, I’ve always identified as bi, but my past romantic involvements were primarily with straight men. I’ve been married twice and have three daughters. Despite my attraction to women, I’ve never dated one until now.
Loser or not, it’s not ultimately your decision who your partner dates. It’s hers. But there are aspects of this situation that you can control and negotiate. Let’s dig in. Then, set up a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. When you talk, it’s important that she understands the impact her actions are having on you. This isn’t just about expressing your discomfort but also about clarifying expectations and needs. Tell her how you feel left out and express your need for a more connected and prioritized relationship, rather than ragging on her other partner, tempting as it may be. This isn’t actually about him, but about you and her.
Public acknowledgment: Determine how important it is for you that your relationship is recognized and acknowledged in public and among friends and family, if it’s not already.
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