Ask Shrimsley: what’s it like not being on Ozempic?

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Ask Shrimsley: what’s it like not being on Ozempic?
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First, rude. Second, here’s my diary of not joining the queue for the super drug

Well firstly, how very dare you assume that I am not on some weight-loss jab. How do you know that this is not, in fact, me after some fairly drastic medical intervention? The fact that you are right does not make it any less rude. The main problem with not being on one of these super-drugs is that I have been cruelly denied the opportunity to write one of those first person “what happened to me on Ozempic” articles that are very well read and do so much to cheer people up.

If it wasn’t for the Covid-19 vaccine, I’d still be much healthier. So I was delighted by this question, in spite of what I took to be its rather judgmental subtext, since it gives me the opportunity to join the throng of first-person pieces by writing my own diary of someone not on the jab. Here we go… Day one: I walk past the chemist selling weight-loss jabs and the queue of already skinny women standing outside and make my way into the pâtisserie next door.

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