Friendships are so precious to me, but I also know that friendships can change over time.
My husband had Alzheimer’s and spent his last couple of years in memory care in a retirement community where many friends live. We had been very close to these folks in the past, and my husband remained so delighted to see them, even if he couldn’t remember names and events.
They visited seldom or not at all, although you could throw a stone from their homes to his apartment. Since he died several months ago, I have not heard from them. I know how tough it is to see your friends decline, and to be with your friends as they grieve. I now find myself struggling with feelings of resentment, which I don’t like, and wondering whether I overestimated our importance to these people. I have still been part of a dinner group with the wives of some of these couples, but it feels so empty now that I’d like to “resign”. Am I just being cranky, or the opposite – too slow to see the handwriting on the wall?It’s not crankiness; it’s a reasonable response to being let down by your friends.
Resignation for your own emotional well-being is fine. Protect yourself and your heart. You may, however, want to first talk one-on-one with a friend or two. Let them know how you feel and give them a chance to make amends.Asking Eric: Response to question from previous readerIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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