'I have learned to accept my needs and put them first, realising that my fatness and Blackness aren’t my failure, but at the very core of who I am as a person and what I stand for.'
Whether meeting people organically or online, I always felt that I was on the outside looking in. Like I was watching other people have seemingly successful, fruitful and fun relationships, while I sat at home swiping the night away. And as a fat, Black woman, I often felt that my physicality was the culprit.apps.
Full disclosure: this wasn’t fuelled by feeling unattractive. Although I have struggled with my identity – particularly my weight – in the past, I feelI wanted a change because I knew the way I looked was holding me back. Hell, I even hired a plus-size dating coach to assist me in my quest for love, who felt that my image was too casual and recommended some clothing pieces that I would never wear. Despite disagreeing with her tastes, having this ‘professional opinion’ only fuelled my desire to change my virtual image.When I truly sit back and think about it, I haven’t really been in a relationship. It’s still unclear to me why.
Fed up with the lack of inclusivity on dating apps that compounded this, I wanted to save myself, heal from past wounds and take on a new attitude on love. So today, I choose myself.
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