PAPER's weekly roundup of the outfits seen on Bravo's 'Real Housewives' series and more! This week: Summer House is back with mullets and cleavage.
s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.
One time, we married her favorite Polly Pocket to the army commander. He was the most buff of my brother’s figurines and carried a bazooka, or some other monstrosity of war. Our joint stuffed animal collection attended the ceremony, as did our cat Oreo, and so did my brother, who was only there to make sure his army commander didn’t kiss Polly Pocket and get “ruined.
I clocked his accessories from the curb but didn’t quite lay my eyes on them completely until his first confessional. There’s quite a bit of bling on those fingers, West! It’s a new look for the house, as most men who crawl through its front door are either too drunk to dress themselves, too normal to care, or over forty, with a twenty-something wife who hates them.Speaking of men with bracelets, here’s Kyle and that wife that hates him.
Like most women approaching thirty with DD breasts, I have fallen victim to crinkled and shirred dresses. Thankfully, I’ve been vaccinated by watching my favorite reality show castmates wear them in the confessional booth. It’s not that it’s an ugly dress! Lindsay has never looked better, and I mean that. But it just reads cheap, doesn’t it? Feels like it’s time to pack up anything and everything that looks like tissue paper on camera.
Remember in the “Marry the Night” video, when Gaga says: “But I still had my Bedazzler. So I did what any girl would do — I did it all over again"? She was actually wearing this exact denim corset top, which I heard Danielle got at auction with her seventh seasonearnings. That’s totally real information, everyone should go tell their friends it’s real.
I did about 47 double takes when this confessional look steamrolled into my eyeballs. It’s like someone hacked off the bust on Ciara’s dress and passed it off as a new garment to Amanda. Upon realizing her dress had no bust, she layered it with the aforementioned tank top as an emergency measure.
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