“Marriage is a rejection of the idea that other human beings are to be treated as disposable. That isn’t capitalist logic – it’s an antidote to it,” writer Ash Sarkar writes in Vogue.
Eight months after I got married, my stepdad died. Afterwards, my mum and I sat in her kitchen looking out into the garden. Tending to it had been his pride and his joy. “I just keep expecting him to come out of the shed and ask for a bitter lemon,” she said quietly. And it occurred to me that this new silence, after the clamouring bleeps and winding tubes of an intensive care unit, is how marriages are meant to end.
Even so, I don’t think that marriage means that you’ve submitted to patriarchal norms or capitalist values. In fact, I think that binding commitment – and the social ritual of a wedding – can be the basis of something profoundly radical. At its core, marriage is a rejection of the idea that other human beings are to be treated as expendable. That isn’t capitalist logic, it’s an antidote to it. I’m using the word “marriage” to include the broadest possible range of relationships.
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