He blames his impending divorce on his wife, for refusing to be a “conciliator” when the men in the family fight.
I consider myself a good feminist, so I normally avoid talking in terms of gender roles, yet here I am. Is it the role of a wife and mother to help bridge a rift between a father and his grown sons?
Sure, the guys should man up and talk it out, but men have egos, and you know in the real world sometimes people retreat into stubborn silence and resentment. Yes, people have egos. Yes, sometimes egos persuade people to retreat into stubborn silent resentment instead of regulating their emotions and using their words.When this happens, however, mature people recognize their mistakes, leash their egos and initiate reconciliation themselves, modeling for children how it’s done.
I’m not sure how we deal with this. I don’t want to insist my husband have no contact with his sister, but she is not a safe person for us, especially our son, whose needs I think should be paramount here.But if your husband can keep his sister away from the rest of you, then you can prioritize your son without asking your husband to feel monstrous.
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