By DELL FRANKLIN Editor’s Note: The following series, “Life in Radically Gentrifying Cayucos by the Sea,” to be posted biweekly includes the notes,
Editor’s Note: The following series, “Life in Radically Gentrifying Cayucos by the Sea,” to be posted biweekly includes the notes, thoughts, and opinions of an original American voice:
I first came across Ed when my gal, Miranda, was renting a little stand alone one bedroom cottage in back of Ed and his wife Patti’s two story home/business—a real estate office she ran and a locksmiths/watch repair shop of Ed’s. “He wanted five bucks for the goose, but I gave him three. Helluva goose. Like a watch goose. Every time somebody walked by on the sidewalk, that goose honked his head off, gave ’em hell. I finally sold that goose and made a few bucks. Everything sells.”“So, anyway, this guy who keeps hanging around every day finally comes in with a cage with a monkey in it. He wants $25 for it and guarantees I’ll make $75 off it. Well, it’s the 1950s and $75 is a lot of money. So I buy the monkey.
“So I move the monkey away from the area near the register, because there’s no telling what he’ll do next. That evening my wife and I wanted to go down the road to a little pub where they had a good band, to do a little dancing and cock-tailing. So we get hold of Patti’s brother, who lives nearby, and he’s gonna watch the shop for us and close it early in the evening.
“After that I made a new fool-proof lock to keep the little guy in there, and I rigged up a raised area outside by the fence and put the cage out there, but damn if the monkey didn’t whack off every time a lady came out of the beauty parlor next door and walked by. Finally, I sold the monkey for a $100 to a mechanic who worked at the Powerine Station across the street.
“Now, at first I was gonna put a rat in the tank, but that would’ve been too bloody and gory, so I found one of those long black fish, I’m not sure what it was, and I drop it in there, and the piranha, his jaws just open up, like he’s all jaws, and he pounces on that fish, and in seconds that fish is disappearing, and this guy, he looks like he’s seen a ghost, he turns pale, grabs his crotch, and starts sinking to the ground, and that was the end of the Dong Dipping Event.
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