If Mitchell had not given up her daughter – now back in her life – would the world have heard her music at all?
publicly discussed only one form of her progeny: those songs that came from her like living things and followed their own trajectories. She referred to them as her children and acknowledged their different personalities. “I like the life that it has,” she told writer David Wild in 1992, describing “Big Yellow Taxi” as one of her most gregarious offspring. Letting go of her songs was easy; finding her human daughter, even wanting to do that, proved much more difficult.
Music can be made and loved in solitude, and a romantic view of Mitchell’s accelerating turn into songwriting at 21 might show her behind a creaky bedroom door in a cheap apartment, head bent over as she composes, murmuring her sorrow into the hollow body of her guitar. Becoming a different kind of vessel than what biology had presented, feeling the loss and turning it into transport. Yet Toronto’s folk community was a tight one, and even in those foggy times, she took easily to collaboration.
The sacrifice she made to give her daughter a more stable life was all about putting potential first – that unknown little one’s and her own, separated yet forever intertwined. The terrifying uncertainty her decision manifested called for a conversion, an adherence to unshakable faith. Instead of God, Joni put that faith in her own soul, in its infinite capacity to grow and to lead her beyond the fatal confines of a normal life.
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