In today's Dear Annie column, Annie Lane hears from a frustrated mom who wants her daughter to cut off contact with her dad after a messy divorce.
Although he treated her poorly before their divorce, Annie Lane points out that it is unfair of today's reader to expect her daughter will cut him off completely.
I’m a recently divorced mom with three adult children. My husband was physically and emotionally abusive throughout our marriage. He originally left me and my three young children when they were just toddlers, but we eventually reconciled. However, when the kids were in college, he sent me divorce papers. I begged him to reconsider, and he eventually reneged.
Several years later, after two of our children were married, he again filed for divorce and moved out and purchased a new home without me. The divorce was very acrimonious. As of this date, despite the judgment against him, he has failed to pay alimony and still owes a significant amount of assets from the original settlement. Because of this, as well as the significant amount of debt that he left in my name, I haven’t been able to properly settle down.
Meanwhile, he appears to be living happily ever after and has even remarried. My two sons don’t want anything to do with him, but my daughter continues to communicate with him. She has even hosted him at her house. I can’t believe she would want anything to do with him after all of the terrible things he has done. Now she has mentioned that he will be visiting and bringing along his new wife to see her and her two young children.
How can I convince her to change her mind? How can I persuade her to tell her dad that his new wife is not welcome, if I can’t convince her to cut off communication with her dad entirely? -- Devastated MomYour ex-husband does not sound like a very nice man, but he is still the father of your children. He is half of each of them. Expecting your kids to fully “side” with you and cut off communication with their dad and stepmom is not in their best interest.
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