Divorce rates spike on the first Monday of January, dubbed 'Divorce Day'. Relationship counsellor Natasha Silverman, with expertise in law and psychosexual therapy, highlights six crucial conversations couples should have to 'futureproof' their relationship, focusing on addressing the often-overlooked issue of sexual compatibility.
natashasilverman.com @natasha.silverman.therapyWelcome to the first Monday of January, AKA ' Divorce Day', when law firms see a spike in enquiries from fed-up folks driven to the brink by festive disharmony.
Experts say that's OK if you're both on the same page, but warn that the 'desire discrepancy' can rip a relationship apart if it isn't addressed. 'The problem is too many men assume women are capable of spontaneous desire. For most men arousal is like a light switch, easily flicked on. But women need a trigger or sexual cue. Men need to figure out how to activate this.'
'This gives space to accept or even initiate touch or affection safe in the knowledge it won't be perceived as an initiation.What do we like about each other?Silverman says about 10 per cent of her clients seek counselling because they're not sure they even like their partner any more. 'No matter how long you've been together, it is important to regularly ask each other what an ideal future looks like. Then discuss how willing – or not – you both are to share each other's dreams,' Silverman says.
Be reasonable and think positively with your request, such as by saying: 'I'd love it if you would turn off your phone notifications when we're eating.' This is much better than saying: 'Can you ditch your cycling friends so we can go shopping together on Saturdays?'
Sex & Dating Divorce Relationship Advice Sexual Compatibility Communication Intimacy
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