A personal reflection on the desire to escape and the struggle to find one's identity.
An ode to dreaming of living somewhere else , only to stay in the place where your grief got its name.In April 2015, as the end of my junior year in high school was coming to a close, my friends and I petitioned the administration to bring back a dormant creative writing course. The previous autumn, I wrote an essay about the symbolism in, got a high-mark and decided that, just maybe, I had a knack for the writing game.
It wasn’t hard to get a class reintroduced into the curriculum at my school, which housed about 490-ish kids K-12 when I was enrolled there. As long as a teacher gave the O.K. to teach it and a handful of students were interested enough in taking it, all you needed to do was snag a few signatures and say “please” to the principal a few times. Creative writing became my elective senior year, and it was taught by a woman named Mrs.
A few years ago, I found a plastic bin full of my “senior year mementos”—also known to the layman as everything my mom couldn’t bring her to get rid of after I graduated. There were the usual suspects in there, like my cap and gown and diploma, but there was also a folder full of my assignments from Mrs. Paul’s creative writing class. Most of it is rubbish that I wouldn’t dare read again, even if you paid me to.
And I think about how, despite my one-time dreams of living in a place where you can see memories of your entire life on the faces of strangers, I spent the first 22 years of my life in towns where “stranger” wasn’t a part of the local lexicon. It wasn’t in my vocabulary to be in community with someone whose name I did not know, but a part of me yearned deeply for stable-footing in a city with lots of places to hide and people to forget.
While Garfunkel brought a nearly operatic, higher-pitched singing voice to the duo, I contend that Simon’s dulcet tenor-baritone was better-suited for most of their songs. There’s even that old tale about how Simon allegedly regretted not taking the lead on “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” which would go on to become Garfunkel’s signature song .
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