Minus points for the ones so low-detail they look like Beaker's nose.
Take a stroll through any one of Assassin's Creed Odyssey's city streets and you'll be within a stone's throw of a penis. That's probably true forcity, sure, but Ubisoft's vivid recreation of ancient Greece doesn't censor the artistic expression of that era. Its cities and temples are adorned with studly marble statues of naked men letting their business hang out for all the world to see.
Though Odyssey often reuses these same statues across its various locales, I've toured from Macedonia to Pephka looking for every notable donger I can find for one sole purpose: rating them from best to worst.And if you want a closer look, click the icon in the top-right corner of each image.I've seen a lot of penises in my lifetime, but this one is by far the worst.
. Despite having a complete package, this dong is still fatally underwhelming—no wonder that other statue is trying to put him out of his misery. the artistry in these statued ding-a-lings, this one gets some extra points for creativity. The fact that this guy has two snakes for legs but still possesses a human penis leaves me with a lot of questions, and I cannot help but think there must be some kind of statement to be made when considering the contrast between the two.
This statue also gets bonus points because, nearby, I found a tranquil garden circumscribed by dozens of the same statue. It's the perfect place to enjoy some lovely conversation. I respect the effort here. Technically this guy has everything you could want in a penis but the way it's arranged is dreadful. I'm torn, honestly, because in setting out on this adventure I wanted to showcase the most glorious penises of the Greek world.
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