Love doulas are people who spend years in romantic relationships trying to heal their partner, stuck in a fantasy of fixing them. It doesn't work. It's time to heal yourself.
One example of childhood relationship trauma is being stuck in a fantasy of saving someone.Here's how to turn all that love and healing you always gave to your partner inward., you name it), always hoping they’d evolve to love her in a healthy way, only to break up and watch them move on to another woman and have a lasting relationship.
Lauren said, “I would heal everyone but myself and then watch them go off and live their best life!” Her history of overgiving toand getting so little in return, only to break up and see them move on with someone else, is what I call being a"love doula."from youth, such as children with emotionally unavailable caregivers.
Often, a person who is a lone wolf or feels different finds another lone wolf and tries to “save” them. The love doula is anwho sees the other person's shadow . During the relationship, you fantasized that if you just worked hard enough, the other person would heal and rise to love you unconditionally. But then, once it ends, and they’re with someone else, you fantasize they’ve taken all you taught them and applied it to a new relationship.
Shine a light on your pattern. Turn all that love inward. Look at how skilled you are at believing in the other person, seeing their potential, rooting for them, being patient with them, and knowing that you hold the power to give that to yourself. Believe in yourself, believe in your path, and believe in your potential. Learn how to receive. Learn that you have a right toRelease relationship trauma from your body. Trauma lives in our bodies but is expressed in our relationships.
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