This article explores the author's evolution from a desire to be friends with everyone to prioritizing low-maintenance friendships. She discusses the challenges of juggling work, family, and social life, leading her to choose a smaller circle of close friends who understand and respect her needs.
I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid. I don't have any godchildren. I am flaky: I can take weeks to reply to a WhatsApp and I am notorious for cancelling plans. Does this make me sound like a bad friend? Or have I just learnt the fine art of life editing?
The brutal truth is that these days, as I've aged and life has become one long to-do list, I've chosen to prioritise low-maintenance friendships. There's just no time or energy for people who ask too much of me, and I certainly no longer have time for 20 'best friends'. We will always be there through a breakup, a child catastrophe, a work dilemma or a health issue, but we don't need to communicate daily about gossip. There's no guilt-tripping over unreturned texts, no sulking over a last-minute dinner cancellation – we're all aligned in the tacit understanding that if one of us cancels then it's nothing personal; if anything, it's usually a huge relief to all. Are we antisocial? Maybe.
I have one girlfriend who repeatedly falls out with not just one close friend but many of them, including the godparents of her children. She picks people up and drops them. Then during the 'break-up' phase she bitches about that person nonstop, only to get back together with them again a month or so later.
Relationships FRIENDSHIPS RELATIONSHIPS PRIORITIZATION LOW-MAINTENANCE SUPPORT TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS
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