Why finding names for baby boys is a wicked game
At school, I decided on Ben. The name I would call my son. Taking inspiration from the sword-and-sandals epic, I reasoned that, with my surname, a heroic quality might be bestowed upon the young Ben Hersey. Here, at 12, between games of Subbuteo and playbacks of INXS on my Aiwa sound system, the decision had already started to weigh on me.
For some reason, we became convinced it would be a girl. And great girls’ names seemed bountiful. Jasmine, Isla, Eva, Rosie, Manon. We had reams of them. You could almost make them up on a trip to the garden centre and they still sounded noble and interesting. I then veered off-road in a rusty old pick-up, championing names like Noah, Elias and Caleb, as if assembling a Kings of Leon tribute band.
Whatever you call him he’ll make it his own, people would tell me, as if humouring a psychotic before the police arrived to surround the house. Still, the ink was dry on the birth certificate. And the compliments came thick and occasionally gushing. I was at peace with the decision. Then the Christmas cards came addressed to“Issac”. Even from two of his university-educated aunts. Would he forever be correcting people? Keeping it simple was surely child-naming 101.
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