'What I really needed was help that made a genuine difference to our now-upside-down-and-inside-out daily lives.'
I’m sitting on the sofa, cradling my daughter’s doll, while she and my husband hover at my sides, arms outstretched.Five minutes later and our 10-second video is a wrap. I add a caption and some music, andIt seems that I’m not the only mom out there who has sat to one side, sweating and leaking milk, while somebody else “helped” by holding my newborn.The thing is, though, holding my baby amid the rawness of postpartum was the only thing I didn’t need help with.
. And the thriving is dyadic. Just as a mother’s body regulates a baby’s physiological systems ― from the nervous system to heart rate and temperature ― so too does close proximity with her baby regulate a new mom’s physiology.Research into the changes that take place inside a mother’s postpartum brain goes some way in explaining the reasoning behind this maternal regulation.
And the stinging point for many, if the response to my little video is anything to go by, is that all too often, this scenario is dressed up as “help.”“You look like you need a break, give her to me…” What I really needed was help that made a genuine difference to our now-upside-down-and-inside-out daily lives.Any and all food, dropped off ideally. Because learning, healing and nursing ― all on exactly zero sleep ― is ravenous work.
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