'Hidden condition made me suicidal - I was washing my hands 150 times a day'

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'Hidden condition made me suicidal - I was washing my hands 150 times a day'
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'Hidden condition almost drove me to suicide - I was washing my hands 150 times a day'

Having spent all morning mustering up the courage to leave his home, William Hale opened his front door and took a few steps outside.

His other relentless rituals, including tapping and checking his surroundings, grew so severe he had to drop out of education at 16 and become housebound. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease distress.

But then the pandemic hit – and like so many others, his mental health started to spiral. By the end of the year, he’d already tried to take his own life twice. However, as someone with previous poor mental health, William found the isolation and total change to his business completely overwhelming – triggering a whole host of breakdowns and crises.“But I think when the pandemic hit and my business was put on pause, the depression was inevitable as the distraction was no longer there and I started slipping backwards.

CALM thecalmzone.net has a helpline is for men who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support. They're open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year. Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts. Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying studentsagainstdepression.org

“When everyone was struggling with Covid and I was set on ending my life, it seems selfish looking back at it now.” Incredibly, it’s now six-figure business that receives 5,000 orders a month, employs a growing team and operates from a swanky warehouse in Manchester.

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