In the latest edition of her newsletter, Holly explored the anxiety many women feel about having, or more often, NOT having, an orgasm. Read more on Grazia.
is something most people are guilty of, but when it follows you into the more intimate areas of your life, it can really start to feel like too much,’ she wrote. ‘Because if there’s one area of life that shouldn’t be stressful, it’s that.’
‘Overthinking can sometimes make it hard for us to relax into the parasympathetic nervous system which helps us experience pleasure,’ sexologist Ness Cooper tells Grazia. ‘It can be hard for our body to release the feel-good hormones needed for orgasm and sexual pleasure when we are overthinking.‘People may find that they are overthinking certain things within the bedroom when something stressful has happened in their life, or a change has occurred.
‘There are many who believe their orgasms or way they experience pleasure don’t match up to these expectations,’ she says. ‘Some of this isn’t the media’s fault, and more a lack of education about how sexual pleasure and orgasm can be experienced differently for many – this is still missed out in some younger years sex education too.’
‘But we need to remember like many other things in films or media, whilst they may look exciting, in reality they may not be possible or when acted out in a real-life setting end up being a letdown.’When we’re feeling anxious about whether or not we’re going to orgasm, the temptation can be to fake it. Ness is insistent that we shouldn’t shame those who do, as there are many reasons why someone might do this.
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