Discover the cognitive styles and emotional responses that most often lead to poor love choices.
Rapid decision-making may be emotionally conditioned by ways parents interact emotionally with their children.Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky researched and explained how people think and behave in making financial decisions. They discovered that people often make irrational decisions that do not benefit them. They developed the field of
Is there a corollary in how people make love decisions and choose mates? Do people make irrational choices, have cognitive illusions, and make faulty judgments that lead to poor mate choices and highSeveral studies examine how people make choices in mates. Peter M. Todd et al. studied people involved in speed dating. They scrutinized the traits in mates people chose, not what they said they wanted.
Nor did women’s decisions about who they desired to date connect with what they said they wanted in a mate. Instead, they made decisions on both physical attractiveness and a sense of potential mate’s commitment to mate and family. Alison P. Lenton et al., in a separate study involving speed dating, learned that, when short on time, people pay moreto visual cues, the looks of would-be mates. They pay less attention to those aspects of mates that take longer to assess—life experiences, background, educational and occupational attainment.A study done by Lucrezia Savioni, et al. examined the roles of cognitive systems 1 and 2 in evaluating “love” decisions.
Improvements in love relationships lie in grasping when and how System 1 cognitive styles and emotional conditioning kick in and falsely attract us to romantic partners. Then we need to be aware how to shut down System 1 cognitions and emotional conditioning and open up our System 2 cognitive style andto others. This is hard work, and it may require the help of a psychotherapist. It is a worthy goal to aim for to ensure healthy, realistic love relationships.Savioni, L. et al. .
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