Grief, at a young age in particular, is extremely difficult to deal with and can lead to life-long trauma
‘I was suddenly expected to take on vast quantities of childcare and household responsibilities even though I was only seven myself.’, parentification refers to when ‘a child becomes the caregiver to their parent or sibling’, which can leave ‘deep emotional scars well into adulthood’.Katharine says that this made her feel like she’d lost her childhood and teenage years as a result of her mother’s death and the experiences that followed.
Katharine has felt like she was more ‘grown up’ in comparison to her peers at various stages of her life because of this early loss of her parent, and says that even now, when friends experience a loss, it is her that they come to because she ‘gets it’.Association of Child Psychotherapists ‘It is what they must do in order to grow up and go out into the world. Grief can interrupt this and some adolescents may feel that the world is not what they expected. They can seem changed and older.’Elfer continues: ‘Some vital steps in their emotional growth may have been interrupted as a result of the grief and it’s important for adults in their life to notice this and encourage them to talk about these feelings.
Additionally, by allowing children to feel their many different feelings about the loss, and talking about it, we can help them process their grief properly and find a way to live with it. As a child, when an adult in their life has lost their partner, it can definitely lead to us feeling like we have to ‘grow up’ and be there for our other parent or caregiver despite being a child and dealing with our own grief.
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