Is friendship really such a menacing post-breakup concept? 💔 ellieapeake asks a therapist
Jack admits the breakup didn’t break him. “I guess that has made it easier to be friends,” he says. “I was heartbroken, but he wasn’t nasty, and I wasn’t destroyed. I think that being friends after two weeks is definitely not advisable, but after six months, maybe.”
Still, Kelly has questioned this approach. “I do believe you can be friends with an ex, and I’m so heartened by people who manage to do it and who want to, but it takes time, energy, and thought, and I just haven’t felt strongly enough about anyone to want to continue having them in my life after,” she says. “It might sound cold, but once a serious relationship is over, I sort of pretend they don’t exist for a while until I feel better. It might not be healthy but it’s self-protective.
She would see her ex at events regularly, as they shared a friendship group. “I think it’s harder when you have to see them a lot. I tried to trick myself into believing that we were friends but deep down, I hoped we were going to get back together and this pretend friendship was just a way of keeping it going. I was just prolonging the misery, to be honest.”
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