With money on everyone’s mind, Justin Myers, aka theguyliner, reveals how to manage friendship across the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ divide
The first sign my friends and I came from different backgrounds? When I heard mention of a ‘breakfast room’. I mean, a room just for eating breakfast? I ate cereal pretty much anywhere except the bathroom. I quickly learned to hide my differences and have played catch-up ever since.
I grew up on a perfectly nice council estate in Bradford, Yorkshire, raised by my mum, who worked hard so I looked no different from the kids from big houses. But when I moved down south for university – first in the family to go, one extra pressure for the stack – I met actual rich people for the first time. In hindsight, they were probably ‘just’ middle class, but to me they were Kardashians.
This sounds dim of me, but swanning around in pricey coats, bouncing cheques for drinks, and lunching out every day gave me a priceless sense of belonging. Fitting in doesn’t mean being flash, but showing you’re comfortable with spending; that it’s normal to you. No kvetching over a split bar tab, no saving clothes for ‘best’ or buying only dark colours that won’t show dirt.
What you notice about friends with money is how they have the luxury of being careless with everyday possessions, because they can always buy more. For proper rich friends – ones whose parents drive Land Rovers stuffed with moulting labradors and drink wine at 11am yet somehow aren’t perceived as alcoholics – precious heirlooms are long-dead great-grandma’s ancient cutlery or artefacts plundered from African villages by colonising ancestors.
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