How to propose: Forget Van Morrison and pretend you’re going to sh*t yourself

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How to propose: Forget Van Morrison and pretend you’re going to sh*t yourself
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My top proposal tip: Forget Van Morrison and pretend you’re going to sh*t yourself

If you’re sure, 100 per cent sure, about the person you love, even if you actually sh*t yourself, it’ll be great

For some three months I’d been planning, re-planning, brainstorming ideas, dismissing them and making changes last minute. I’d googled etiquette guides, Buzzfeed articles, tales of success and disaster,. And I soon realised I was on my own here. I liked having a secret all to myself, but that brought with it no small amount of anxiety for someone as completely risk-averse as I.

It’s not the ideal scenario. Basically if you’re planning goes any further than buying a ring, hiding it and telling no one, you’ll have to accept that for a few months your partner will think you’re either addicted to pornography or having an affair.My first idea was to pop the question on a trip to Northern Ireland. We were travelling out for tour shows to promote The Holy Vible, a book I wrote with comedian Elis James.

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