Over-apologising is holding you back - this is how to banish it
First Person“When we apologise unnecessarily, we’re setting the tone – and this can have an impact,” she says. “You’re essentially saying, ‘I’m wrong’. This puts you on the back foot and gives away your power unintentionally.”
Meanwhile, research shows that women tend to apologise more than men – something which is ingrained in us from a young age. “This is not to say, but in our society young girls are typically encouraged to be kind and play nicely, while young boys are encouraged to assert themselves,” Rule says. “The language women use can often sound more apologetic, even when not explicitly saying sorry.”
Often, over-apologising is something we do on autopilot – but the good news is that we can switch it off. Here, Rule shares easy ways build your“When you start a sentence with: ‘I’m really sorry, but…’ it undermines what you’re about to say. Our brains are quite lazy, so if you say: ‘Sorry to ask a stupid question, but…’ you’re really saying: ‘A stupid question is on the way;.’ Open instead with ‘I have a question’ and the conversation is more likely to go in an upward spiral of positivity.
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