In this week's Lalalaletmeexplain column, Lala replies to a reader who is unsure whether they have been a victim of emotional abuse or whether they flawed their own relationship
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems.
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During our last fight before we completely broke up two weeks ago, he told me he was at peace with us finishing because I have deep rooted issues, I can never be in the wrong, and I never forgive anyone, he said my issues stem from having an emotionally abusive dad. He said he forgave me for hitting him but I can’t forgive him back. He’s out of my life now but I’m left so confused about whether I have some deep rooted issues and that maybe it was my issues that killed our relationship.
Criticising you for not forgiving him for being abusive is audacious. We’re under no obligation to forgive abusive behaviour. His behaviour wasn’t just a one off, it was a repeated pattern of behaviour that relented throughout your time together. The fact that he was also volatile around his family is just further evidence that he was the problem, not you. Even if the rest of the relationship was perfect, calling your partner a disgusting sl*t weirdo with daddy issues is extraordinarily bizarre.
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