In this week's Lalalaletmeexplain column, Lala replies to a reader who knows they can't be with their cheating and lying ex but can't cut them out of their life either
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems. With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.
He did everything to win me back and then became my boyfriend, when we were good it was so good, the sex was amazing. But when we were bad it was SO BAD, screaming, shouting. We’d break up, then be so good as ‘just friends’ then get back together and it was a bad cycle. Anyway, the last time we were back together he cheated on me. Obviously I broke up with him and again, tried to block, delete and move on. However, yet again we started talking, and we’re now sleeping together.
So what’s the difference when it’s a man? Why would you tolerate nonsense from him that you would never tolerate from a female friend? You’d think she was an utter weirdo, yet you don’t tar him with the same brush. Perhaps you expect nothing better from men, you think that lying and cheating is just a part of manhood and that if you stick around then he might eventually change. So the first thing you need to work on is why your boundaries with men are weak.
Regardless of how much he claims to have changed you must remember that this man never respected you. He actively chose to betray you and to put you at risk, he put your health at risk by sleeping with other women when you were exclusive. The two of you have an explosive attraction that feels exciting, he boosts your ego when he wants you, he gives you hope and makes you feel good.
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