When Karden Rabin's mum died he experienced absent grief; a complicated process where a person shows little signs of mourning after a loss.
Karden was 21 when his mother died Karden Rabin was away at university when he got the call out of the blue to tell him his mother, Samantha, had died unexpectedly. She had not been ill, but after suffering a back injury, Samantha became addicted to the opioid Percocet, taking 12 a day for more than 20 years, on top of a daily diet of coffee and three packets of cigarettes. She died in her sleep of cardiopulmonary failure at the age of 54.
One, that my feelings don’t matter, because if my mom loved me, she’d be there. And, two, that these feelings are really awful. ‘If I expressed them, my mom would say “Go and play in the traffic”. So I learned to be self-reliant and how to make my own sandwiches from the age of six.’ Growing up in the New Jersey commuter belt, Karden’s older sister would get them ready for school, and by the age of 10, he would get himself up in the morning, make his own breakfast and see himself off to school.
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