In this personal essay, R29 Beauty Director Sara Tan shares how rom-coms shaped her love life and what it took for her to finally see herself as the main character.
the leading creator and provider of premium audio storytelling, to celebrate AAPI voices, stories, and authors — including Lily Chu who pens romantic comedies with strong Asian characters . Here, in this personal essay, as told to Summer Lin, R29 Beauty Director Sara Tan shares how rom-coms shaped her love life and what it took for her to finally see herself as the main character.
My insecurities only deepened when I started school at UC Santa Barbara — a classic California beach college where most of the students were very blonde and very sporty . I tried to mimic that same aesthetic, but it wasn’t really me. I wound up feeling even more inadequate. to relationships. More often than not, I found myself fawning over men who were emotionally unavailable. I’d see a cute guy in class or in the dining hall, develop a crush, and romanticize them.
Because my older sisters married Asian men, I always assumed that I’d do the same. It took me by surprise to end up with someone outside of my race, but Matt not only respects our cultural differences, he fully embraces my Asian identity. From the beginning, he’s always asked questions and tried to better understand my culture, like the fact that in my family, acts of service and cooking food are our love language.
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