In this week's Lalalaletmeexplain column, Lala replies to a reader who thinks there is a reason why they keep attracting bad men after being ghosted and unfollowed by a recent date
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems. With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.
The radar that you feel you have that attracts bad men isn’t actually a radar. It could be happening for a few reasons. Those who are controlling or manipulative, often seek out people who are kind, nurturing, and empathetic. If you naturally want to help or fix people, you might attract those who take advantage of that. They have a radar for people who are vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
One thing that might help is committing to taking things more slowly. Wait to have sex with men until you feel respect and trust and a level of commitment. Make men wait. Not because of any misogynistic tropes about women who have sex too soon - we don't want men who would judge us for that - but because it will help you to avoid men who just want to use you.
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