In this week's Lalalaletmeexplain column, Lala replies to a reader who wants to tell the married man they're having a fling with to leave his wife but doesn't know how
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems. With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.
I don’t feel bad about the affair. I believe that he is only staying with his wife because of the kids. I keep telling him to leave her. I was only young when my parents divorced and I was okay, so they should be too. And as for his wife, I think they have to act like they are happy to the public because they don’t want news breaking out that their marriage is finished, although I think it has been for a while. He is also very nervous of how he is perceived by others.
How do you know that he isn’t going home and showering his wife with love fuelled by his guilt? How do you know that she isn’t actually just a wife who knows that her husband cheats all over the place and expects better from him? How do you know that they’re separated? You don’t know anything other than what he has chosen to tell you, and for all you know, it’s all completely false.
I think the power dynamic between you leaves a lot of room for problems and he knows it. I think he understands the optics of a man running off with a younger woman and he also understands that your fling offers him a world away from the monotony of marriage and some excitement, and that he needs to convince you that there is hope for the future if he wants to keep you on side and silently catering to his needs without blowing up his marriage.
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