In this week’s Ask Eva column for British Vogue, Eva Wiseman responds to a reader who’s changed her mind about having kids.
I’m in my thirties and have always been confident about the fact that I don’t want children. I have friends who had kids young, and saw how that limited their careers and ended their relationships, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen other friends completely wiped out by parenting. I also saw how depressed it seemed to make my own mother. Plus I didn’t have that feeling that I thought you were meant to have of wanting to care for something for the rest of my life.
If you had changed your mind about any other kind of major life decision – if you were to tell your family you wanted to, for example, retrain as a nurse after years as a gardener – it’s unlikely they would give you shit. But tell them you’ve changed your mind about having a baby, and even if they are delighted by the shift in attitude, yes, I’m sure you’re right: the “I told you sos” will rain down upon you. And I get it.
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