Kate was just 18 when she put her first dollar into a pokie. For Tim, it wasn’t his only addiction. And Ben stole his then-wife’s birthday money. These are their stories.
Kate Seselja walked into a pokies room when she was 18. She knew she liked the experience of winning cash, but what she didn’t know was that those few minutes would change her life.
Going to the poker machines with other people gave me the illusion that I wasn’t sneaking away into some dark room. It was out in the open, so it seemed like a completely benign activity. And then once I started going by myself, that was when it went sideways.In the early days, they used to come over with a clipboard while I was still sitting at the machine and hand me cash, and made me sign a piece of paper.
I had tried counselling over the years, but it didn’t work. That was discouraging, too, to not be able to see any future other than this one. But then I went to this new counsellor, and she was so amazing.That really hit me. For over a decade I didn’t like me. I didn’t feel like I was in control of me. And that was because I never, ever, saw gambling coming.
I used rent money, I got those instant loans that charge you huge interest. I tried to gamble my way out of the hole but it just dug it deeper.And it stopped because of Crystal the cat. Crystal is a rescue cat. It took three weeks before she would remove herself from under the bed to even come up to me.Sure, I don’t want to be broke and have to have food brought to me from my friends and family – but having someone else to look after is the main reason I stopped.
A lot of people have lost way more than me – but if you lose $10,000 or a million, the pain and anguish are the same. It’s suicide, losing families, kids, wives and husbands. Some compulsive gamblers start stealing. It’s anything it takes.– well, what’s worse? Revenue loss or loss of life? So find another revenue stream! Find another way to make money. We live in a capitalist world, we can make money however we like.
I spoke to the Alliance for Gambling Reform with the intention of doing more. I ended up having thousands of conversations with other people – not just gambling addicts, but academics, politicians and psychologists. I just realised the scale of the problem was being vastly underestimated. “One year for my wife’s birthday I gave her an envelope of $500 cash. We were going to go out for dinner with friends. I ended up stealing that money off her so I could go and gamble.”I stayed away from gambling for nearly three years. I separated from my wife about 14 months ago, and since then I’ve unfortunately had a few relapses. Gambling would have been the fundamental reason why our marriage was not successful. It makes you a liar. It makes you ruthless.
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