David Archuleta’s mom and other LDS parents lay out why they no longer believe in a heaven that excludes their queer children.
More and more Latter-day Saint parents say they no longer believe in a “sad heaven” without their queer children.
Listening to her son explain that he was attracted to men, she said an image “immediately” formed in her mind of his soul “sinking” from the Lupe Bartholomew, the mother of pop singer David Archuleta, holds a framed photo of Archuleta in her palm at her home in South Jordan on Saturday, April 20, 2024.
She told her bishop, the lay leader of her Latter-day Saint congregation, that she, like her son, was stepping away from the church. Soon after, she formally withdrew her membership.If you or people you know are at risk of self-harm, call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988Lifeline.org.
“One of the things that terrifies a human brain the most is uncertainty,” she explained. “And one way to cope is to cling to rules and doctrines that provide you with a sense of ‘if you do this, you will be OK.’” “That kind of communal processing and shared experience,” he said, “leads to more personal revelation and inspiration.”
“Prior to having queer kids, I would’ve thought, ‘Oh, they’ll just go to a lower kingdom, a form of heaven, and we’ll just come and visit them,’” Jen said. “Once I had queer kids, I couldn’t wrap my mind and my heart around that even being a possibility.”Josh, who was serving as a bishop when all three of their children came out, said prayer has been his lifeline as he and his wife have sought to chart a course they never anticipated for their family.
“But the more that I really search and seek to be in tune,” he said, “I feel the Spirit prompting me to stay and to share the love that I’m learning, which is much deeper and broader than I’ve ever known.”That decision to remain in the fold isn’t easy, the couple agreed. Most days, Josh said, it feels a lot like having each foot in a different canoe, both moving at different speeds.
Groups like Lift + Love strive to offer the on-the-ground support to families trying to figure out what being a supportive parent and a faithful Latter-day Saint looks like.
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