Same-sex couples wonder why they were targeted by local leaders who pulled their LDS Church membership, while others are allowed to remain on the rolls.
Some have been ousted from the church; others haven’t. They appear to be at the mercy of the views of an ever-rotating slate of local lay leaders.
For the first several minutes of their conversation, Petersen thought she was right about the reason for the meeting. Then came the clearing of the throat, the slight adjustment in the chair and, she said, her heart “just dropped.” “This is 100% speculation, but we believe it was because of a new bishop,” said the Utah woman, who married in 2021. She and her wife had their memberships removed a little more than a year later .
“I would guess it has more to do with leadership roulette than anything,” Ryan said, explaining that extends past stake presidents to higher-ranking area authorities, who “may push excommunication when local leaders may wish to just leave things alone or offer more freedoms.” Petersen took this information and, with the support of her wife, came back to the stake president with an offer: What if she and Tammy were no longer intimate?She recalled him then asking if she wanted to attend the membership council.
The letter didn’t specify the reason for her loss of membership, instead focusing on her opportunity to “draw closer to your Savior and feel the love he has for you.” “I had three thoughts at the exact same time,” she recalled. “The first was: I am so excited for the two of them. The second was: Oh, no. What is going to happen to them now? And the third that immediately followed was: But if they’re membership isn’t withdrawn, why did it happen to us?”Individuals who lose their membership are told, among other counsel, that they can no longer participate in temple rites, give a sermon, pray at church or pay tithing.
That visit, she said, meant a lot to her and her wife, even if it didn’t end with their names getting back on the books . “We have people in our ward,” one of the Texas women said, “that have just looked at us and said, ‘I’m here because you two are still here.’ I think that’s really cool.”It’s unclear how many same-sex couples are on church rolls, or how many have been or are being removed from them.
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