'Learning I had ADHD was like turning the lights on': Women on being diagnosed as adults 🗨️ ‘It’s like being in a maze with the lights off, but everyone else is navigating it fine’
but as adults, women’s pain and healthcare has been consistently sidelined. Add into that other protected characteristics, like race and age, and it’s no wonder that so many are only just realising this about themselves.”
For others, a diagnosis can lead to a second chance at life. Melanie Smith had dropped out of university four times as a young adult, and ended up in a string of unfulfilling jobs, chaotic relationships and “crazy situations”. She was eventually diagnosed with ADHD aged 48 after returning to higher education.
When Ms Smith started to encounter familiar problems in her latest course she confided in a lecturer who offered to help her get some counselling. “When they told me I had ADHD, I was initially crushed. Because my personality is like a description of this condition. I thought, if that’s all me, then who is Melanie? I was angry and grieved for a long time. It’s been such a journey and for a long time I just wanted to give the diagnosis back.
Shelford agrees that people often find it difficult to grasp what ADHD means. “There’s a big problem with this condition in that people who don’t have it are familiar – and have their own challenges – with some of its traits like procrastination, and timeliness. So they assume that people with ADHD have the same experience, plus a little bit more. It’s just not the same.”