There’s a new parent guilt in town
‘Be careful what you wish for,’ goes the old adage – and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s never been more true than for most parents who always honestly and truly believed they wanted ‘more of a work-life balance’.– I’m starting to see a lot more friends and people I follow being honest about the fact that they’re struggling with their kids being around ALL. THE. TIME.
As Lucy – a mother of two - told me, ‘It’s about looking at the clock feeling exhausted because you’ve done breakfast, got them dressed, done two carefully planned activities… and now it’s 10am and you’re out of ideas.'It's not easy for new mums either, who had been sold a maternity leave full of coffee meet-ups and baby sensory classes . 'You're just so tired being a new mum anyway, and there's nothing to distract you from that,' says Judy.
Zoe tells me: ‘I already spend two days a week with my son , so I thought it wouldn’t be so bad to go to full-time. But my God! I had visions of cooking together, playing together, learning together. You know, structured days of wholesome activities. Winning at mumming. The reality is very different. The other day I spent 45 minutes setting up a phonics ‘match the sounds’ game, collecting toys for him to sort into sound categories that I had beautifully displayed.
If other people don’t make you feel bad, then your kid will - mine, for instance, has beautifully sat alongside me as I typed some of this piece, enjoying his yoghurt and clapping his hands to nursery rhymes as if to say, ‘Me? How could you not want 28 hours in a day with ME?’ ‘Without the routine it’s all gone to shit! Every day is monotonous, to stay safe we have to stay in and so we’re all crabby. I’m juggling their schooling, my schooling, bills and trying to make do with food we have to reduce going out. So when they ask, “What fun thing can we do?” I’m like “Lads, I’m going to lie down on my bed and I’m coming out when it’s meal time”.'
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