'You never hear a woman with grey hair being described as a silver lioness, or a silver swan?” Why is it still newsworthy when a famous woman chooses not to dye her hair, but it isn’t for a man? ✒️ poornabell for ipaperviews
Most women like myself have grown up being told that their worth and acceptance in society is held in how they look. We still exist in a world where female celebrities are scrutinised for how they look in a way that their male counterparts aren’t – recent examples include Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, Selina Gomez. Then we turn that critical gaze towards ourselves when we look in the mirror. You would hope that perhaps mid-life offers a reprieve from this, but all that changes is the vocabulary.
There isn’t a right or wrong way to navigate getter older – you can dye your hair, get Botox, age naturally, get tattoos, wear whatever you want, or don’t. But there is a fundamental problem in assigning values to these choices rather than viewing them as neutral, and frankly, that person’s business.
To me, the whole point of getting older is liberation, and realising that the details of your aesthetics don’t really matter – being healthy,and living a life you love does. It doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to care what you look like – I do, hugely – but I know it is not the most significant, or even the most powerful thing about me.
The other day, a younger woman said to me: “I can’t believe you’re in your forties – I hope I look like you do when I’m your age.” I accepted the compliment but I also felt sad for her because I know that by the time she reaches my age, she will have likely gone through some things that will likely challenge and test the very limits of her character.
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