‘It feels oddly provocative, like I am deliberately trying to draw people’s eyes exactly towards a part of my body that arguably doesn’t need too many eyes on it’ 🖋️ MikeRampton
Also so hot right now? The planet.. Odds are, that record won’t be held on to for very long. In this heat, men’s shorts have been getting shorter for a few years, with a mid-thigh hemline increasingly more common than a knee-length pair, so it makes sense that shirts would follow – if we’re going to insist on making the planet uncomfortably warm, we might also need to rethink our wardrobes.There’s no inherent reason men shouldn’t embrace crop tops.
With this in mind, it is the height of summer, there are scissors in my kitchen and an editor waiting, so I might as well get on with this. As soon as I finish cutting a strip off an old T-shirt and pop it on, a couple of things become very clear. Firstly, I’ve taken it up higher than I perhaps needed to . Secondly, with one glance in the mirror I am dramatically reminded why my clothing decisions aren’t normally based on what Matthew McConaughey wore inI … don’t look good. All the men mentioned above, and most of the male crop top enthusiasts on Instagram, are in incredible shape.
Now, basic knowledge of anatomy suggests my body does have muscles in it somewhere, but they’re not what you’d call “glistening” or “glorious”. Or even “visible”. Jack Grealish’s hi-tech sports vest exposes the flawless midriff of an elite athlete, while my cut-off T-shirt reveals the hairy, beer-filled stomach of an indoorsy 40-year-old who types for a living.It’s quite disconcerting.
This wobbly band of newly exposed pastiness is broadcasting a message: “Hey everyone. Look at this bit of me!” It might even be doing the same at the back with the top of my arse-crack. This is dreadful. I can’t go anywhere like this.
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