'It’s important to acknowledge the unspoken reality that welcoming a second child brings - euphoria, yes, adoration, yes, but weeks and months of exhaustion and dismay as you figure out'
Her observations about life as a mum-of-two were part of a wider call for politicians, in the States, to level-out the playing field by providing paid parental leave to all after the birth of a child. The pandemic, she said, had exposed longstanding fault lines in communities where paid parental leave does not consistently exist but an invisible crisis concerning women and childcare does, with millions dropping out of the workforce to look after their kids full time.
Her acknowledgement, as part of this, of the unspoken reality that welcoming a second child brings - euphoria, yes, adoration, yes, but weeks and months of exhaustion and dismay as you figure out, through bleary eyes and half drunk cups of cold tea, how on earth you parent more than one at a time, is important too.
But, why, as parents, do we still insist on pitting ourselves against one another when Meghan’s letter articulates a reality for all of us who have a second or third child - that each one is a game changer. She is in no way blind to the lifestyle into which her kids, Lili, four months, and Archie, two, have been born - an upbringing far from her own, in which a visit to the $5 all you can eat salad bar was a welcome treat from her hardworking parents.
My two oldest boys were born 15 months apart, a choice my husband and I made based on my fertility and years of treatment to get pregnant. The joy of having them in my arms could not have been any greater and yet there was not a day during that first year that I didn’t pray they would both sleep at the same time so I could just breathe. Or put a wash on. Or breathe AND put a wash on. Like many, I juggled work and parenting and, with that, the guilt and the overwhelm only grew greater.
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