Parents with mentally ill adult children suffer with ongoing feelings of worry and guilt. They may be especially worried and guilt-ridden if their child cuts off contact
Parents need help learning how to lovingly engage or set limits."Conversations, in a family, become linguistic archaeology. They build the world we share, layer it in a palimpsest, give meaning to our present and future. The question is, when in the future, we dig into our intimate archive, replay our family tape, will it amount to a story? A soundscape? Or will it all be sound, rubble, noise, and debris?"in American children, teens, and young adults.
Every one of these questions brings with it a suite of potential arguments, misinterpretations, and conflicts. It increases the possibility of the child’s feeling hurt or overly pathologized. It can cause children to doubt their parents’ faith in them, which can make the parents doubt their faith in their own capacities.
While parents might believe they did a heroic, let alone expensive job of providing their child with every resource imaginable, a young adult could reasonably have an entirely different portrait of their, especially once they are living on their own and reckoning with the ways they felt unprepared to launch an adult life.
Calmly let your child know that when they talk to you in a highly provocative or disrespectful way, they make it hard for you to listen or pay. Explain that you know they have something important to say and you want to hear it, but you’re unable to do so when they use a tone of voice that is hostile or intimidating.
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