Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
At a restaurant, I was attempting to enjoy a meal with friends while taking in the beautiful ocean view. When I glanced to my right, I saw that the guy at the table next to us was wearing low-hanging shorts that revealed his butt. He was a young guy and appeared to be with family.
We had already ordered and were waiting for our meal when I first noticed the guy. So I said, in a voice that the customers next to me could hear, that I could see his butt -- how disgusting when you’re in public. The family ignored me, so I repeated my statement again, a little louder. Finally, the mom came over and said very quietly that I should have just come over to their table quietly to express myself. Then she went back to their table and told him, not in a quiet tone, to pull his shorts up, and he did comply.
In any case, the mother was correct: Discreetly coming over to her table would have been far more polite than making a scene. Or you could have told a restaurant employee. Because having publicly announced your displeasure in a loud voice -- twice! -- no one believes that you really thought it “not your place to say anything.” You just chose not to do it directly, which no doubt resulted in a mood-killer for the rest of the restaurant.I’m a 32-year-old electrical engineer.
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