Miss Manners: Is it OK to send a condolence letter to people we don’t know?

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Miss Manners: Is it OK to send a condolence letter to people we don’t know?
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I don’t know if a note from someone unknown to them would be welcome or feel like an intrusion on their grief.

Does one ever send a letter of condolence to a stranger? Specifically, to a stranger who will at some point be a relative by marriage?

Our son is engaged to a lovely young woman whom we have met several times and are very fond of. We have never met any of her relatives. She announced the devastating news that her young cousin has died after a short illness. Of course, I am writing to her to offer our sympathy, but I wonder if I should also write to either her parents or her cousin’s parents . There is hardly a more gracious way to ingratiate oneself with a prospective family than to show compassion for even distantly related relatives. The only intrusion on their grief Miss Manners can imagine might be a brief thought of, “Who are these kind people again?” But that will no doubt be a welcome distraction.

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